It just took me 32 minutes to eat a burger patty (I really needed the red meat nutrition, I rarely eat it but my body was craving it. So it's chew it like crazy or put it in the blender - and uh, burger shakes are really not my jam.) Reality check! I know I'm posting all the positives, because YEAH! Things are super positive! I am alive, healing, and have energy for a lot more of the day. I am sleeping solidly, down to ibuprofen for pain management, working out slowly and gently in dr. approved ways, have not gone to emotional eating to deal with any of this, and overall, considering the ordeal, feeling good. But social media lies, and I don't like to lie. There's a difference between encouraging others to find the good stuff in the challenges and be joyful, and making them feel like shit if they can't get it together after big deals like this, the way they see you doing it. So - It hurts, especially inside where they connected my small intestine to what is left of my colon. I have a nasty scar running from my bikini line to above my belly button, with ugly steri strips where the staples were. The staple holes are red and purple. My belly has new lumps and divots and is swollen. I am wearing a compression belt most of the day and all night. I have had a headache/sinus pressure that comes and goes (anesthesia takes ages to purge for me,) and I'm a little foggy brained. I'm freezing cold almost all the time. I'm tired often. My digestive system is having an identity crisis and not really keeping me apprised of it's mood swings. And mood swings - as my hormones and my brain catch up to what has happened, I am letting grief and joy guide me as they see fit. I trust them both. So yes, I am grateful, I am delighted to be able to model and work with my clients and do all the things around the house that I can. I am overjoyed even more every morning that my eyes have opened. I am truly happy and not wasting a single frickin moment of this life. I am coming back strong in this perfectly imperfect body, for myself, and