Well, this has been the hardest week of my life. I'm still having a really hard time processing all of this, at the time of my fathers death I hadn't spoken to him in years, hadn't seen him for almost 5 years.... not to say I didn't try, my most recent attempt to contact him was a few weeks ago... The last time we spoke was after I got arrested on May Day, he said he was proud of me, my parents have always been so awesome and supportive of my music and life choices, I have n...ever doubted myself, and I owe that to them. My dad dealt with so much shame around his drug addiction that he just simply couldn't face his kids. I never judged him for it and always loved him, and liked him, and wanted him to know how much I cared about him, and now he's gone and we'll never have the chance to make it right. I owe so much to him, from my sense of humor, to sense of integrity to a work ethic and a love for animals & nature... I am so grateful that I made plans to come to Madison and work on music and videos with DJ PAIN 1 because if I was home right now I'd be going insane. I wish I believed in an afterlife because it would have been so nice to talk to him again.
RIP dad, I love you.
Here is my fathers obituary:
"James Timothy Holland, 57
PANAMA CITY, Fla. - James Timothy Holland, 57, of Panama City, Fla., died Friday Jan. 10, 2014.
He was born to James and the late Elizabeth Holland on April 5, 1956 in Portland. Tim graduated from Portland High School in 1975.
Tim was an American Bureau of Shipping certified welder and fabricator (ABS) serving the Portland fishing community for over 25 years. He owned his own welding company, Holland Marine Services in Portland for many years. For the last five years Tim was a welding supervisor at Eastern Shipyard in Panama City, Fla. He worked up until the day he died.
Tim was a generous and gregarious man, he could talk to anyone and most of the people he talked to became a friend. He had a great sense of humor and loved joking and laughing with friends and co-workers. Tim was enthusiastic about his work and was always willing to help out friends and family with any project; large and small. He was a dog lover his whole life - caring for and adopting many canine friends.
Tim is survived by his son, James Timothy Holland, Jr. and his son's wife, Yasamin, his daughter Amanda Holland; his former wife, Nancy; his father, James Holland, sisters and brothers-in-law Cathy and John Cogswell, Franny and Mark Payne, Terry and Jimmy Odlin, all of Portland and his sister, Linda Miller of Miami Beach, Fla. He is also survived by his partner, Patricia Powers of Panama City, Fla. and many nieces and nephews.
He was predeceased by his mother, Elizabeth Holland; sister, Susan Rich; and nephew, John Cogswell.
A gathering of Tim's friends and family will be held at East End Community School, 195 North Street, Portland, on Saturday, Jan. 25, 2014 from 1:00 - 3:00 pm.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the charitable cause of your choice
James Timothy Holland
