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one You turn me on Napoleon Who's that? It's Marie Antoinette wearing a hairnet in a college cafeteria serving freshly baked bread Oh you don't want any? Oh you're gluten free? Can I get something else for you honey would you like some cake instead? You turn me on Napoleon That's about when all the protests began It was a food fight for your life I began to panic when I got hit by something organic So I snuck out the back door found a dive bar the drunks were wishing on a reality tv star but I just felt lovesick You turn me on Napoleon Old Louis with six teeth out in the rural country was shooting his gun at a tree when something strange came on the scene Corporately sponsored chaos driving a Toyota Prius towing the world's oldest most vintage guillotine You turn me on Napoleon Oh would you calm my fears Napoleon? Would you come upstairs Napoleon? I promise I'll always trust ya even if you tell me we should invade Russia