I am not fat. I am not ugly. I do not want to continue to feel pressure to prove that I am those things so that I can prove that I am not attempting manstealing. I do not want to continue to feel pressure to prove that I am not those things so that the bullying calling me those things will stop. The bullying hasn't stopped for as much as an hour since 2010; I am always being bullied about so many things that just writing a list of them all takes a long time. My appearance does not need to continue to be a subject of obsessive discussion. The entire thing has been a stupid and destructive waste of time. I don't know when I stopped living in reality, but I also don't remember the last time that I lived there. When I saw the jeans on the rack, they looked big to me. I couldn't even trust the paper label that said that they have a 26" waist; I had to read the one in the jeans to believe that they weren't mislabeled. I spent all day thinking about food and trying to decide what I could and couldn't have. If this is not anorexic thinking, then what is?